A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS...ISL'S XMAS LIST.

I REALIZE ITS GETTING CLOSE TO BABY JESUS'S B DAY FREAKOUT,BUT I'M JUST GONNA THROW OUT A FEW ISL GIFT SUGGESTIONS FOR THOSE STILL HAVING A HARD TIME FINDING THE PERFECT GIFT FOR THE PERFECT MAN (me,not jesus..he doesn't need shit).
SO..HERE WE GO.

1.COOL SWITCHBLADE..
I HAD ONE OF THESE BAD BOYS WHEN I WAS TWELVE.I TRADED IT TO MY FRIEND FOR A GUITAR AND AMPLIFIER,AND WHILE I OBVIOUSLY GOT THE BETTER END OF THE DEAL...I WANT IT BACK!!
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2.GIANT DEAD ANIMAL..
THIS GUY WAS JUST CHILLIN IN THE WOODS ONE DAY AND SOME TOOL BAG SHOT HIM TO DEATH,CUT HIM IN HALF AND MOUNTED HIM SO SOME RICH ASSHOLE COULD HAVE A BEAR COMING OUT OF HIS WALL.I WOULD LIKE TO BE THAT RICH ASSHOLE..
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3.NIKE AIR 90'S..
THESE ARE THE ONLY SNEAKERS THAT ARE WORTH A SHIT IN MY OPINION."THEY MAKE YOUR FEET LOOK CUTE".EITHER OF THESE COLORWAYS WILL BE FINE..size 10
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4.IT'S NO MASERATI GHIBLI BUT..
THIS TASTEFULLY REFINISHED FIREBIRD WAS NOT REALLY MY FIRST CHOICE,BUT LETS FACE IT.WHO'S GONNA ACTUALLY BUY ME A 71 MASERATI GHIBLI...
SIDENOTE: I PREFER BLACK,RED OR WHITE LEATHER INTERIOR.
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5.YSL COFFIN NAILS..
IF YOUR GONNA SLOWLY KILL YOURSELF,DO IT IN STYLE! THATS WHAT I ALWAYS SAY...A WOMAN THAT WORKS FOR YVES SAINT LAURENT TOLD ME THEY STOPPED MAKING THESE AND THAT IF YOU CAN ACTUALLY FIND THEM THEY ARE EITHER OLD AS SHIT OR FAKE CHINESE ONES.EITHER WAY I WOULD LIKE A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF THESE OLD ASS/CHINESE YSL CIGARETTES..
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6.GOLD PLATED TECH'S (WILL EXCEPT GOLD PLATED TECH 9'S AS WELL)
DID YOU KNOW THEY STOPPED MAKING TECH 1200's!? YEP THEY DID.THE BEST PIECE OF DJ EQUIPMENT EVER CREATED..ANYHOW,THESE BLACK AND GOLD ONES MATCH MY CIGARETTES SOOOO..
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7.BLACK POM -A- POO
LOOK AT THIS MOTHERFUCKER!! HE'S AN EWOK..A REAL EWOK,BUT WITHOUT THAT WEIRD BURLAP EARTHTONE THING GOING ON..
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8.LOOK SHARP'S
IV'E WORN MINE OUT AND THEY HAVE HOLES IN THE BOTTOM SO WHEN IT RAINS MY FEET GET WET.TOTALLY UNEXCEPTABLE..
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9.MARC JACOBS MOTORCYLE JACKET
EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE AT LEAST 8 MOTORCYLE JACKETS,AND I ONLY HAVE 7.I CUT THIS DICKWORMS FACE OUT OF THE PICTURE CAUSE LOOKING AT ANYONE BUT ME WEARING THIS JACKET IS KINDA LIKE WATCHING YOUR GIRLFRIEND GET IN THE HOT TUB ON AN EPISODE OF THE JERSEY SHORE.."I DONT CARE IF THERE WAS HOUSE MUSIC PLAYING!! HE SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN WEARING YOU!!"
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10.LUXURY SATIN BED
THIS BED SAYS TWO THINGS TO ME...
"WELCOME HOME KILLER,YOU DESERVE THE VERY BEST AND I'M READY TO FUCKING LAY IT ON YOU"
AND..
"BE CAREFUL OF PECKER TRACKS"
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MY BLOODY VALENTINE -SOON (ANDREW WEATHERWALL MIX)

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HERE IS A PRETTY RARE REMIX OF SOON FROM THE 12' SINGLE OFF OF (ONE OF THE GREATEST ALBUMS EVER) LOVELESS..
ENJOY

MY BLOODY VALENTINE - SOON (ANDREW WEATHERALL REMIX)

WISL VOL.4 - THE DRACULA EXPERIENCE

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THE 4TH AND FINAL WISL FREAKOUT IS HERE."THE DRACULA EXPERIENCE" IS PERHAPS THE MOST SELF EXPLANATORY OF THE FOUR MIXES,AND THE CLOSEST TO MY HEART.LOTS OF DRACULA THEMED LOVE ON HERE AND SOME DRACULA VIBED FUNK AND PSYCH FROM HIS PART OF THE WOODS.
ENJOY..

WISL VOL.4 - THE DRACULA EXPERIENCE

NADASTROM - SAVE US (ISL re-touch)

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HERE IS MY RE-TOUCHED VERSION OF "SAVE US" BY THE THE SUPER AWESOME (FELLOW JACK DANIELS DRINKING) NADASTROM...ENJOY

NADASTROM - SAVE US (ISL re-touch)

SIDEWALK TALK - (ISL'S LATIN FIX-ATION)

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HERE IS MY LATIN FLAVORED REWORK OF THE 1984 JELLYBEAN PRODUCED/MADONNA WRITTEN JAMMY,SIDEWALK TALK..WATCH WHAT YOU SAY!!

SIDEWALK TALK - (ISL'S LATIN FIX-ATION)

SUPERSPIRIT - WE BELONG TO THE COSMOS VIDEO

HERE IS THE AMAZING AND WONDERFUL VIDEO FOR THE AMAZING AND WONDERFUL SINGLE "WE BELONG TO THE COSMOS" BY MY GOOD FRIENDS AND COSMIC GUIDES SUPERSPIRIT.A FAMILY BAND THAT PLAYS TOGETHER AND STAYS TOGETHER ( AS SEEN HERE IN THIS SPACE PICNIC ODYSSEY)

TOO MANY FISH IN THE SEA - (B.CAUSE OHH EDIT)

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HERE IS ONE OF MANY GREAT BLENDS AND EDITS FROM S.F. DJ AND FELLOW GROOVE MERCHANT AFFILIATE, B.CAUSE.HE'S GOT GOODS FOR DAYS.CHECK HIM OUT HERE AT DIAMONDS IN THE DUST.ENJOY..

TOO MANY FISH IN THE SEA - THE MARVELETTES (B.CAUSE OHH EDIT)

LOVE BUZZ - SHOCKING BLUE ( ISL SHAPE-UP )

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HERE IS MY AMPED UP (AND MORE MIXABLE) VERSION OF THE CLASSIC 1969 PYSCH ROCK BANGER.ENJOY...

LOVE BUZZ - ( ISL SHAPE-UP )

KID KOALA MAKES BEST RECORD EVER!!

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KID KOALA/ WOLFMOTHER COLAB SOUNDS AWESOME,BUT YOU REALLY HAVE NO IDEA JUST HOW AWESOME,AWESOME CAN SOUND UNTIL YOU LISTEN TO "THE SLEW".THIS RECORD EMBODIES EVERYTHING I LOVE ABOUT MAKING BEATS.HUGE BREAKS,LAYER UPON LAYER OF DIRTY GUITAR RIFFS AND VOCAL SNIPPETS.IT'S JUST FUCKIN BANANA'S.DOWNLOAD IT..YOU'LL BE LISTENING TO IT NON STOP I PROMISE!
ENJOY..

KID KOALA - THE SLEW

OH SHEILA - ISL SHAPEUP

HERE'S AN OLDER BLEND OF "OH SHEILA/BITING MY NAILS" I DID BACK IN 04.I JUST UNEARTHED IT LAST NIGHT TO A PACKED DANCE FLOOR.IT STILL WORKS...

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OH SHEILA - ISL SHAPEUP

CHECK YOUR BUCKET SON!!

WHEN YOUR KISSES FAIL TO MOVE HER AND YOUR RAP DON'T SEEM TO GROOVE HER..YOUR BUCKET GOT A HOLE IN IT..
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EDDIE BO - CHECK YOUR BUCKET

VERSION OF THE WEEK - LEOPARD SKIN PILL BOX HAT

THIS WEEKS VERSION IS YET ANOTHER DYLAN COVER (SORRY BUT THERE'S ALOT OF GREAT ONES).HERE IS A GREAT FUZZY AMPED UP VERSION OF LEOPARD SKIN PILL BOX HAT FROM BECK.
ENJOY..
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LEOPARD SKIN PILL BOX HAT - BECK

SERGE -132 DAYS AND COUNTING....

TILL THE SERGE GAINSBOURG BIOPIC HITS THEATRES.IF I WERE IN AA THIS MAN WOULD BE MY HIGHER POWER.(WHICH PROBABLY EXPLAINS WHY I'M NOT IN AA...)
PICTURED HERE IS THE HIGHER POWER CIRCA 1969 WITH THEN GIRLFRIEND JANE BIRKIN.HE OPTED FOR BIRKIN AFTER DATING BRIGITTE BARDOT (HE CLAIMED HER BREASTS FRIGHTENED HIM!) GENIUS.....
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SERGE GAINSBOURG - REQUIEM POUR UN CON

VERSION OF THE WEEK - SUPERSTITION

HERE IS THE GREAT QUINCY JONES TAKE ON THE THE EVEN GREATER STEVIE WONDERS GREAT SONG SUPERSTITION..
ENJOY.
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SUPERSTITION - QUINCY JONES

VERSION OF THE WEEK - USE ME

HERE IS GRACE JONES VERSION OF BILL WITHERS CLASSIC USE ME UP....
I REALIZE I USUALLY POST A PIC OF THE ORIGINAL ARTIST BUT SERIOUSLY..IF IT WERE POSSIBILE TO TAPE PHOTOS OF GRACE INSIDE MY EYELIDS I WOULD.

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GRACE JONES - USE ME UP

PINK PROJECT - BEST LOOK EVER!

1982 ITALIAN GENIUS'S PINK PROJECT "MASHIN UP" PINK FLOYDS "ANOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL" AND THE ALAN PARSON'S PROJECT "MAMMAGAMMA".SERIOUS,SERIOUS STUFF HERE....(.AND DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT BITING THOSE CLOAKS, IM HAVING A MONOGRAMMED ONE MADE AS YOU READ THIS)





LITTLE RED CORVETTE -(ISL LOVE DUB VERSION)

HERE'S MY LOVE DUB REWORK OF THE PRINCE CLASSIC.ENJOY..

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LITTLE RED CORVETTE -(IAN SAINT LAURENT LOVE DUB VERSION)

ALL ABOARD!!..THE NIGHT TRAIN.

THIS SUNDAY !! (AUG 9TH)
STARTING AT 10 PM
ITS OFFICIAL! READY OR NOT.NIGHT TRAIN IS HERE.OUR NEW SUNDAY NIGHT FREAKOUT IN THE BRAND NEW BEAUTIFUL ADAM WALLACAVAGE DESIGNED BACKROOM @ PYT IN THE PIAZZA.EXPECT HARD HITTING FUNK,SOUL ENCOUNTERS,COSMIC GROOVES,WHITE MAJICK AND EROTIC OVERATURES!!
W/ DJ'S
IAN SAINT LAURENT
GREGG FOREMAN +
DENNIS WOLFFANG

AND TO START THINGS OFF RIGHT WE ENLISTED A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FELLOW LOVER OF LIFE - KYLE M (bleached black/ten commandments)
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DOWNLOAD! NIGHT TRAIN - (ISL'S PHILADELPHIA REMIX)

VERSION OF THE WEEK - BAT MACUMBA

HERE IS GILBERTO GILS TAKE ON THE CLASSIC OS MUTANTES JAM BAT MACUMBA.ENJOY..

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BAT MACUMBA - GILBERTO GIL

ERKIN KORAY - MAGARADA DUGUN

HERE IS A PSYCHED OUT SELECTION FROM THE TURKISH ROCK N ROLL GENIUS THAT IS ERKIN KORAY.EEEENJOY....

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ERKIN KORAY - MAGARADA DUGUN

DEEP PURPLE - PLAYGROUND (INSTRUMENTAL)

HERE IS AN INSTRUMENTAL STUDIO OUT TAKE VERSION OF DEEP PURPLES 1969 FUNKY ROCK BANGER, PLAYGROUND.ENJOY..

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DEEP PURPLE - PLAYGROUND (INSTRUMENTAL)

VERSION OF THE WEEK - SUPERNAUT

"GOT NO RELIGION DON'T NEED NO FRIENDS!!" IN THE NINETIES TRENT REZNOR AND AL JOURGENSEN FORMED THE SUPERGROUP 1000 HOMO DJ'S AND BLESSED US WITH ONE OF THE MOST BAD ASS COVERS OF ONE OF THE MOST BAD ASS BLACK SABBATH SONGS EVER.I DEFINITELY BROKE A BUNCH OF SHIT IN MY ROOM LISTENING TO THIS SONG BACK IN THE DAY.
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1000 HOMO DJ'S - SUPERNAUT

NEW SKIPMODE MIXTAPE! WORD TO THE THIRD

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YOU CRAZY FOR THIS ONE SKIP! ILLVIBE VET AND MIXTAPE MAESTRO SKIPMODE DELIVERS ONCE AGAIN HERE.DANCE CLASSICS AND SOME LESSER KNOWNS SPLICED TOGETHER WITH NINJA SKILLS.HE EVEN GOT THE DISMASTERS ON THIS JOINT!!

DJ SKIPMODE - WORD TO THE THIRD

THE FAMILY THAT PLAYS TOGETHER STAYS TOGETHER

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HERE IS THE TITLE TRACK FROM SUPERSPIRIT'S "PERMISSION TO COME ABOARD".MY BROTHERMAN SPIRIT BEAR HIT ME WITH THIS THE LAST TIME HE WAS DOWN FROM NY,AND IT'S BEEN BLOWING MY MIND SINCE.SUPERSPIRIT IS SCOTT ANDERSON(SPIRITBEAR),HIS WIFE, JEILA GUERAMIAN,THEIR SON,WOLFGANG AND DAUGHTER,URSULA.IT'S CUTER THAN...WELL,JUST ABOUT ANYTHING TO RECORD AN ALBUM WITH YOUR WHOLE FAMILY,BUT WHEN IT'S ACTUAL AN AMAZING FOLK/ELECTRONIC PYSCHEDELIC RECORD THAT MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE MAYBE TAKING ACID AGAIN WOULD ACTUALLY BE A PLEASANT EXPERIENCE,THEN YOU HAVE SOMETHING THAT TRANSCENDS CUTE AND ROCKETS INTO THE ATMOSPHERE OF SMARTEST THING EVER.WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM TIM LOVE LEE ON THE MIX DOWN, MY MAN HAS MANAGED TO MAKE A RECORD THAT SOUNDS LIKE DOING MUSHROOMS AT NIGHT,ON A MOUNTAIN,WITH YOUR KIDS TALKING ABOUT SPACESHIPS AND RAVI SHANKAR APPEARING AS AN APPARITION.
HANDS DOWN MY FAVORITE RECORD OF THE YEAR.
HIT HIM UP ON HIS BLOG ACID TEST DJ'S AND MAYBE YOU CAN GET LACED WITH SOME MORE LOVE.

SUPERSPIRIT - PERMISSION TO COME ABOARD

TWO GREAT OLD SONGS ABOUT SMOKING WEED

HERE ARE TWO GREAT EARLY JAZZ DITTIES SINGING THE PRAISES OF THE STICKY ICKY.ENJOY..

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SAVE THE ROACH - BUCK WASHINGTON
WEED - BEA FOOTE

VERSION OF THE WEEK - WHILE MY GUITAR GENTLY WEEPS

HERE IS A HEADY JAZZ TAKE ON THE GEORGE HARRISON CLASSIC,WHILE MY GUITAR GENTLY WEEPS.SOME SERIOUS JAZZ GUITAR NOODLING HERE COURTESY OF THE PITTSBURGH BORN JIMMY PONDER.ENJOY..
(GEORGE WAS ALWAYS MY FAVORITE.)
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WHILE MY GUITAR GENTLY WEEPS - JIMMY PONDER

DJ OPAL ROCK - AFTER AFTER PARTY

CLASSIC TRIPPED OUT SUMMER SUN N'FUN HOUSE/DISCO/BREAK MENAGERIE MIX FROM YER BOY OPAL ROCK!!
GET IT WHILE ITS HOT OUT.

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DJ OPAL ROCK - AFTER AFTER PARTY

VERSION OF THE WEEK-GET THY BEARINGS

THIS WEEK'S VERSION IS A SLIGHTLY DARKER AND HEAVIER INSTRUMENTAL TAKE ON DONOVAN'S GET THY BEARINGS.I LOVE THE ORIGINAL SO MUCH I POSTED IT AS WELL.(DOWNLOAD THAT ONE FIRST)

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GET THY BEARINGS-DONOVAN
GET THY BEARINGS-CONNIE PRICE & THE KEYSTONES

MORNING SOBRIETY

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SO THIS IS WHAT MORNING LOOKS LIKE? I MEAN IV'E HEARD OF IT,SURE,I SEE IT ON TV AND IN MOVIES,MY MOM TALKS ABOUT IT SOMETIMES,BUT IT'S KINDA LIKE ALOE VERA JELLO OR KANGAROO MEAT,YOU KNOW IT'S REAL BUT IT SEEMS A LITTLE RIDICULOUS.SOMETHING ONLY AN ELITE FEW HAVE EXPERIENCED.NOT REALLY TANGIBLE.
YET HERE I AM,AWAKE WITHOUT THE AID OF AN ALARM..
LOOK! THERE ARE PEOPLE OUTSIDE,WALKING.WHAT ARE THEY DOING? WHAT IN GOD'S NAME COULD THEY POSSIBLY BE DOING UP AT 9:30 AM? HOW DID I GET HERE? THIS IS NOT A CIRCLE IN WHICH I TRAVEL.MORNING,YOU ARE A STRANGE AND UNKNOWN PLEASURE.
YOU SEE,MY BODY SHUT DOWN YESTERDAY AFTER A 16 DAY BENDER,DURING WHICH I WAS KEEPING MYSELF ALIVE ON A DRIP OF ALKA SELTZER,IMMODIUM.AIRBOURNE AND ZANTAC.OVERWORKED AND UNDERPAID,MY LIVER HAD HAD ENOUGH AND GOT THE REST OF THE ORGANS TOGETHER AND WENT ON A STRIKE.WITH NO POSSIBLITY OF HAVING A DRINK,EVEN TO QUELL THE RAPID AND THREATENING PACE OF DRUMMING IN MY CHEST,I ATE FOOD, AND DRANK WATER.I WATCHED MOVIES AND CARTOONS IN MY BED AND FELL ASLEEP LIKE YOU WOULD IF YOU WERE THE KIND OF PERSON WHO COULD "FALL ASLEEP".
SO HERE I AM.AWAKE.IN THE MORNING.I FEEL THE NEED TO REGALE MY NOCTURNAL FRIENDS WITH TALES OF THIS STRANGE AND UNKNOWN LAND."YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHERE I WAS!","THEY HAD BAGELS! LOTS OF THEM!".I CAN PICTURE THE LOOK ON GREGG FOREMAN'S FACE WHEN I BLOW HIS MIND WITH A DESCRIPTION OF THE MORNING SUN."THE SUN? IN THE EAST YOU SAY,AND YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THIS MADNESS!?".
YES.IT'S TRUE.THE MORNING EXISTS.THERE ARE CHILDREN HERE.PEOPLE WALKING DOGS.OLD LADYS WITH SUN UMBRELLA'S.I JUST SAW A BUTTERFLY! ARE BUTTERFLIES EVEN ALLOWED ENTRANCE INTO PHILADELPHIA? WAIT...A BIRD JUST LANDED ON MY SHOULDER AND TOLD ME WHAT BILL MURRAY SAID TO SCARLETT JOHANSSON AT THE END OF LOST IN TRANSLATION.
I THINK I SHOULD LIE DOWN.

HELD THE HAND

THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONGS FROM THE SCHIZOPHRENIC GENIUS AND FELLOW CASPER THE GHOST LOVER, DANIEL JOHNSTON. REALLY SAD AND VERY BEAUTIFUL.
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DANIEL JOHNSTON-HELD THE HAND

CRAMSKE IS GETTIN FUTURETROISTIC

HERE'S A NEW (all vinyl) MIX FROM THE ONE THEY CALL CRAMSKE.IT'S ON SOME BOOGIE DOWN FUNK TYPE ISH.DOWNLOAD AND FREAK OFF!
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FUTURETROISTIC

VERSION OF THE WEEK

HERE IS A WEIRD AND AWESOME VERSION OF ARCHIE BELL AND THE DRELLS,TIGHTEN UP. JAPANESE GENTLEMAN STAND UP PLEASE!!
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YELLOW MAGIC ORCHESTRA - TIGHTEN UP

LIFE OF THE PARTY - J5 (ISL DUB)

HERE IS A NEW RE- EDIT OF JACKSON FIVES, LIFE OF THE PARTY I DID FOR OPALROCK'S NEW SUMMER MIX.
ENJOY.

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LIFE OF THE PARTY - J5 (ISLDUB)

THE PRETENDERS - MY CITY WAS GONE (ISL SHAPEUP)

HERE IS AN EDIT OF MY FAVE PRETENDERS SONG,MY CITY WAS GONE.
ENJOY..
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MY CITY WAS GONE - (ISL SHAPEUP)

VERSION OF THE WEEK

THIS WEEK WE HAVE CAROL GRIME'S RASPY U.K. VERSION OF FREDERICK KNIGHT'S FUNK- SOUL BANGER, UPHILL PIECE OF MIND.

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UPHILL PEACE OF MIND - CAROL GRIMES

UNITY JAM 09 !!

THIS SATURDAY (june 14th) CELEBRATE THE UNITY (AND THE LOVE AND THE HAVING OF FUN) WITH I.S.L AND HIS OLD FRIEND AND NYC BROTHER FROM ANOTHER, ACID TEST DJ , SPIRIT BEAR.TOGETHER WE ARE AN UNSTOPPABLE FORCE,A TSUNAMI OF DJ GREATNESS,A CRAZY TRAIN ON A ONE WAY TRIP TO DISCO NIRVANA.
EACH SONG THAT IS SELECTED WILL IMPLODE IMMEDIATELY AFTER ITS PLAYED,NEVER TO BE HEARD AGAIN,ONLY ITS SOUL WILL LINGER IN THE HEARTS OF THE FEW BLESSED VESSELS WRITHING IN ECSTASY ON THE MAGIC CARPET THAT IS THE 700 CLUB DANCEFLOOR!
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SEE THE MUSIC IN A BLINDING TECHNICOLOR EXPLOSION.FEEL THE LIGHT MAKING LOVE TO YOUR INSIDES AS YOUR SOUL IS TRANSPORTED TO AN ALTERNATE DIMENSION WHERE EVERYTHING RULES.EXPERIENCE THE WHITE MAJICK AND WIZARDRY OF..
UNITY JAM 09...

TAKE A BITE OF PEACH ...
ACIDTEST DJ'S - FOR YOUR MENTAL (mixtape)

AMANDA BLANK -MIGHT LIKE YOU BETTER (ISL REMIX)

A NEW REMIX FROM YOURS TRULY...

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AMANDA BLANK - MIGHT LIKE YOU BETTER (IAN ST LAURENT REMIX)

ZOMBIE VS. SHARK

FOR FANS OF THE ZOMBIE GENRE ( LIKE MYSELF ) THIS IS THE STUFF DREAMS ARE MADE OF.IT'S A SCENE FROM LUCIO FULCI'S 1980 CLASSIC,ZOMBI.WHY DON'T WE KNOW THIS MAN'S NAME? WHERE IS HIS STATUE? DID HE RECEIVE AN AWARD? THE NEXT HORROR CON I GO TO I'M TAKING UP COLLECTIONS FOR JUST THAT.HOLDING YOUR BREATH UNDERWATER IN ZOMBIE MAKEUP WHILE WRESTLING A BIG ASS SHARK AND THEN FEEDING YOUR TUNA FILLED ZOMBIE ARM TO HIM MAY BE THE SINGLE BEST THING ANY ONE PERSON HAS EVER DONE IN THE HISTORY OF ZOMBIE MOVIES OR ITALIANS OR THE WORLD.

BREAKING NEWS PHILADELPHIA!! SKINNY JEANS

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IT SEEMS LIKE EVERY TIME I TRY AND READ ANYTHING (MOVIE REVIEWS,COVER STORYS,OBITUARIES) IN THE PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY I AM BOMBARDED WITH SKINNY JEANS REFERENCES. SEE,I AM A NORMAL HUMAN WHO ISN'T THREATENED BY CLOTH ON LEGS, SO I UNDERSTAND THAT DIFFERENT PEOPLE LIKE DIFFERENT THINGS.I THINK TIE DYES ARE GROSS,HOWEVER, I DON'T WORK THEM INTO EVERY CONVERSATION I HAVE AND EVERY SENTENCE I WRITE.JEANS DO NOT SPEAK.THEY DO NOT HAVE ANY INHERENT POWERS OF THEIR OWN,WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF THEY ARE JUST PANTS.LET ME REPEAT THAT.THEY- ARE- JUST -PANTS.DO YOU PEOPLE GET BONUSES FOR USING THE WORDS "SKINNY JEANS"? DO YOU HAVE WORKSHOPS ON HOW TO MAXIMIZE THE ANTI TIGHT PANTS ANGLE IN EVERY STORY? "BOB,THIS STORY ABOUT DARFUR IS GREAT BUT WHERE IS THE SKINNY JEANS ANGLE? I MEAN REALLY?!"
AT WHAT POINT DO YOU STOP WRITING ABOUT THEM? WHEN THEY ARE OUT OF STYLE? HOW FICKLE OF YOU! IF YOU WERE REAL TRENDY PANTS HATERS YOU WOULD BE WRITING A HATE PIECE ON BUGLE BOYS RIGHT NOW,SURE THAT WAS AGES AGO,BUT REMEMBER HOW INFURIATING THEY WERE!? REMEMBER HOW THEY KEPT YOU UP AT NIGHT,TOSSING AND TURNING, THINKING ABOUT THOSE DAMN SIDE POCKETS?! IT WAS LIFE ALTERING, WASN'T IT?

IN ALL SERIOUSNESS THOUGH,THANKS FOR THE FASHION UPDATE.
don't believe me?

VERSION OF THE WEEK

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REMEMBER WHEN THIS SONG CAME OUT AND THERE WERE LIKE A GAZILLION REMIX'S OF IT? I KNOW, I KNOW..MOST OF THEM WERE PAINFUL.THAT'S WHY I GIVE YOU THIS DUB VERSION OF THE WHITE STRIPES FLAGSHIP BANGER, 7 NATION ARMY.IT'S A FRESH TAKE ON A GREAT SONG THAT HAD BEEN SUCKED DRY BY NOVICE TECHNO DJ'S AND SPIT BACK UP IN THE FORM OF A ZILLION BAD "MASH UPS" uhuhuHHuhh..I SHUDDER WHEN I HEAR THOSE TWO WORDS.

THIS WILL ALSO BE ON MY GOTH/DUB MIXTAPE,MIXED UNDER MY "VLAD THE INHALER" MONIKER (JUST IN CASE YOU WERE THINKING ABOUT PUTTING IT ON YOUR GOTH/DUB MIXTAPE....)


7 NATION ARMY - THE DYNAMICS